I went to see my Mum last week for a few days. She lives a few hundred miles away from UK, in my country of origin, sunny Poland. It was a flying visit, only for a few days, just to catch up with my Mum and Sister, and to see them face to face as this only happens 3-4 times a year. And yet after only 3 days, on my way back, I realised how much more confident about myself I felt. I had more energy, more motivation, and a greater belief in my own abilities. I wasn’t sure why that was until I gave it some thought and came up with 3 reasons.
And I appreciate that some people haven’t got great relationships with their parents, for one reason or another, and I still believe that talking to your parents can enrich your life so much more than you even expect. Here are the 3 reasons I came up with:
1. If you have a question and it gets answered, you gain more knowledge in your life. It’s amazing how much knowledge the older generation has, and we can tap into that as long as we allow ourselves to stop, ask questions, and listen. My Mum has always said she is not good at starting conversations, and yet whenever I ask a question, she has so much to say, it amazes me every time! And what amazes me even more is that even though I think she lives in a ‘different world’ because the culture In Poland is somewhat different to the one in UK, and my issues may be different to my Mum’s when she was my age, her knowledge is amazingly accurate and age-less!
2. If your question cannot be answered by your parent, you often realise during the conversation that you have the answers yourself. If my Mum couldn’t answer a question, the conversation itself allowed me to get really focused on what I wanted to know, and that focus itself can be a great catalyst for finding an answer. And the more you can talk about what you want to find out, the more clarity you can get. And the most useful tool is seeing the same issue from a different perspective, one that can stimulate your thinking. I was often surprised that I could arrive at the answer myself!
3. You realise that when you get to the age that your parents are, you would like to show something for it, something you (and the parents too!) would be proud of. This one had an amazing effect on me when I left Poland on my way back to UK as I could feel a great motivation to go forward and live my life in a way that is aligned with my values, and so with what is important to me. I was able to plan ahead and really see with clarity what I would like to achieve in my life, and that gave me great energy to do tasks that I would often previously put off till later. And it’s amazing how making even little steps in the right direction always gives me a great feeling of confidence in my own abilities!
Getting a different perspective, either from someone who knows you well or someone who cares enough to listen, often helps getting answers you need. This in turn can make you feel like you are able to do things you thought you could never do! And let’s face it, that’s what confidence is. And it’s a great feeling isn’t it?