Ok, so everyone is talking about positive thinking, and how good it is to engage your thoughts in focusing on the good things in your life. It is a powerful tool and if you use it well, it can be really beneficial. However… do you sometimes feel that:
- Being positive about your life is making you anxious and miserable instead of happy?
- You are getting further away rather than closer to your great positive dreams?
Let me explain something first. How happy you are has nothing to do with what is happening in your life. What is happening in your life is called…errr… life. What makes the difference is your attitude towards it. This really is true. As an example, think about a time when something happened and you thought ‘Oh well, never mind, I can cope with this.’ And when you told your friend or family member about it, they said: ‘What?? That’s terrible!’ and you might have thought, it really is ok, but the different perspectives made you two feel very different. And this happens all the time: how you react to something is going to influence how you feel.
So let’s go back to the questions I asked in the beginning. Why is it that sometimes if we try too hard, the idea of positive thinking does not make us feel very positive? It is because of our mindset. It is because we expect things to change tomorrow, or even today, right now. Just like magic. But the magic we are waiting for is not happening. We might be feeling a little more positive but if we expect Massive change to happen, we won’t even notice the little positive things that start popping into our lives. We simply ignore them, not notice them and still waiting for that magic to happen. So the result is we are disappointed, anxious, and less motivated to notice good things in our life.
If this is something that resonates with you, then read on. Here I would like to share two secrets of how you can change it.
- Stop comparing yourself and your life to other people and their lives
What other people go through and how they react to it is their life path, not yours. Chances are what they are going through might even make you miserable, so why wish you were someone else? Focusing on other people’s journey can make you more anxious, while focusing on your own journey could help you gain clarity on what steps you could take to make it more enjoyable, more in line with your dreams.
- Take little steps and notice little changes
Little steps are the best. If you set a small target it is more likely that you achieve it. If you are focusing on writing one chapter at a time, or even one paragraph at a time, it is much less daunting than planning the whole contents of a book, which can make you more anxious. If you are focusing on not eating too much tonight, and do this often then the results will soon start coming. If I plan to go swimming today I only think about what time to do it today. If I had planned to go swimming every day this week I would be more likely to be disappointed as soon as one day I decide not to go.
See what I mean? If you think ‘little steps’, you are more likely to achieve them, and then the magic will gradually start happening as you allow yourself to start feeling a little better about achieving the little goals…It can be an amazing way to build blocks of positive thinking, and to really start noticing them!
If you need a little helping hand, get in touch. Email firstname.lastname@example.org or call 07966151680 to have a chat or book your appointment.